B139: How to ask for what you need (guided visualization)
May 7, 2024

Let’s do a guided visualization exercise together: here’s how to ask for what you need.  Easier said than done sometimes, huh? But an incredibly important skill to master if you want to live a life of peace, prosperity, and in true community with others.

You see, when you ask for help from the people you know and trust, most times, they are willing and able to assist you.

But this skill takes massive amounts of courage mixed with a bit of humility. I want to simplify that, in order for this skill to become second nature for you!

Listen and participate in a guided visualization exercise: how to ask for what you need.

Before we get started, here are a few things that you’ll need to do in order to get the most out of this.

  1. Create a safe space - no distractions or interruptions

First off, you’ll need to create a safe space where you won’t be distracted or interrupted… and also, keep in mind that during this exercise, you’ll have your eyes closed. So yeah, probably not best to do this one while driving.

Silence your phone notifications… The world can wait for the next few minutes.

Then, get comfortable in a seated position or lying down, if that feels better. You get to decide. As with all visualization and breathing exercises we do together this year, you always get to decide what is best for you… take what you need, bless and release the rest.

Okay, now close your eyes or avert your gaze to the ground.

  1. Take 3 intentional breaths together with me

Let’s take three intentional, life-affirming breaths.

Now, let your breathing come back to a normal pace, whatever feels right for you.

  1. Do a body scan and feel your feet

It’s time to do a body scan… imagine you are slowly scanning your entire body from the tip top of your head, slowly down like molasses, all the way to your fingertips, and then to your toes.

What sensations do you feel? Knots, twinges of pain, soreness, or even , on the flip side, any feelings of harmony, joy, or flow…. just notice what you feel in your body, without judgment or trying to fix it. Just scan down, ever so slowly until you’ve done your entire body.

Once you’re at your feet, really take notice of what it feels like to have your feet make contact with the ground. To be firmly rooted down, the safety and security of that sensation. What do your feet feel like right now?

  1. Time to see yourself asking for what you need.

Okay now,  I want you to imagine I want you to imagine you’re having lunch with a group of your closest friends. Pick three people from various seasons of your life, all together with you now. These are all people who love and care about you the most in life… your ride or dies, the ones who know you best. Take a moment to see their smiling faces, hear their voices, and soak it all in.


You order your food and it arrives. You find yourself lost in conversation, enjoying every minute of their company. One of them chimes in and asks you…

“Hey, how are things these days? What’s the latest on that great big project you’re working on right now?”

You pause, think about it, and answer honestly… “Ups and downs. It’s like a roller coaster, really. Some days, I feel like I’m making great progress and other days, I feel like things are stalled.”

Your friend looks you in the eyes and smiles warmly. They acknowledge what you’re feeling and reassure you that “anything important in life is going to have its ups and downs and curveballs. That’s part of the journey. Remember, your courage and boldness has gotten you this far. I’m so proud of you. You’re doing the thing.


Another friend at the table chimes in next and asks…

“What feels hard right now? What’s heavy?”

Again, you stop and ponder that question with true intention rather than deflecting or making a joke. You know that when you say out loud, with your outside voice the things that you’re struggling with, it immediately diffuses the power it has over you.

So, you muster up the courage and tell your friends, in detail.

What’s hard.

What’s heavy…

And what you need help with right now.

Take your time… remember, you are with the people you love and trust the most with this sacred information. You get it all out.


One friend grabs your hand gently and gives it a squeeze. With a sparkle in their eye, they say…

“I’m so glad you told us that. And guess what? You’re not alone in this. You’ve got us! What part do you need the most help with?”

You consider the biggest ask you could make right now… and the smallest detail you need help with, also, even if it’s totally mundane and kinda dumb. Again, with courage you say…

“Well, I need help with two things. My big ask is this __________. And my small ask is this __________.”


“Here’s how I can help.”

Each of your 3 friends look at each other and back at you again. One says, “hey, I’ve got an idea on how to help you get one step closer to your big ask. I can help with this…”

Another says, “and I can totally help with that small task. Consider it done.”

And finally, your third friend says, “you know, I really wish I could help you with either but I can’t right now. However, I’m here for you if you ever want someone to listen while you vent. Or brainstorm with you as you problem solve.”


You smile and say thank you with your great big, open heart. You’re reminded that this is how most things happen in a life worth living.

You have to be brave and make Bold Asks out into the world.

Some will say yes.

Some will say no, and that’s totally okay as there are times you have to say no to others, too.

That’s completely normal.

You still know you have to ask for what you need (with your outside voice) because you cannot do this life alone.

You’re grateful for your friends and even the strangers who you will encounter later today.

It’s all part of being a human, asking for help.


Take this last moment to say thank you with your full spirit and remember that you can revisit this gift any time you wish. It’s yours forever and ever. You are never alone and you are always fully supported.

Take a moment to gather yourself with a deep, belly-filling breath. And when you’re ready, open your eyes.


So, how was that experience for you?

How did it feel to ask for what you need? Scary because they might say no and you’ll feel rejected? Or safe because you know your people have got your back? Or maybe something in between?

I want you to set a 7-minute timer, grab a pen and paper, and take this time to write down everything you remember from this visualization exercise.

Answer as many of these questions as you like… or just focus on one. Whatever brings you the clarity you desire right now, you get to decide.

One final whisper

Asking for help is not a sign of weakness.

In fact, when you’re vulnerable with others, you deepen the relationship, showing them it’s safe for them to be vulnerable with you. Ultimately, it’s how true communities are formed and where the root source of the saying, “it takes a village!” comes from.

Because it DOES take a village to navigate this life… and to accomplish big goals, big projects, and big dreams.

Ask for help.

Be courageous.

And it’s ok if people say no… Take it from my very wise friend Marrilee who reminds me of this simple truth:

Rejection is redirection.

I hope this visualization sticks with you the entire week through. Do it again and again if you need clarity or fresh ideas on where you’re headed next… Because when you tap into your deep inner knowing, you’re accessing your deep inner wisdom. That electric energy that can be found inside all of us that connects us all together. It knows. You know. We all know if we are brave and we open ourselves to it.

I hope this visualization sticks with you the entire week through. Do it again and again if you need clarity or fresh ideas on where you’re headed next… Because when you tap into your deep inner knowing, you’re accessing your deep inner wisdom. That electric energy that can be found inside all of us that connects us all together. It knows. You know. We all know if we are brave and we open ourselves to it.

You can do this, I believe in you.

It’s time to SIMPLIFY.

If this thought of the day inspired you...

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As always, please reach out, especially if you’ve got specific ideas or questions that you’d like us to cover on the podcast. DM me on LinkedIn (https://www.linkedin.com/in/thesimplifiers) and let’s spark a conversation.

Thank you!

Show credits: Suzen Marie, our Podcast Editor and Jeffrey Lynn, our Video Editor. Aubri Nowowiejski, Chris Justice, and George Mills, our advisory board. And I’m your host, Mary Baird. Big love to Dennis Coleman, Kristen Kurtis, plus Mark and the team at Goodboy, as well. Thank you so much for listening and telling your peeps about us.

As always friends, keep things simple.


This episode is sponsored by…

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